Pregnancy- Not Stable?

Went for the proluton's injection to the nearby clinic.. Yes, pruloton is basically an injection that i hafta take for every 4 days. Pruloton is to make my womb relax from the growth of the baby inside my uterus..This is an extremely painful injection that I can't do it by myself. I can either go back to Sunway Hospital or just go to the nearby clinics..

Well, this time around, I chose to go to a "klinik pakar Metro" in SS15 Subang Jaya.. This is a branch clinic of the Metro IVF Hospital in Klang.. And yes, my 1st and 2nd IVF were there..

And what a small world, I met again my used-to-be IVF Dr Tee.. He was shocked to see me.. Of course-lah, he knew that I'm pregnant NOT due to his treatment.. hehehe...

And I asked him for an ultra-sound, as I'm just wondering whether my baby ha developed a heartbeat! During the ultrasound, we could see a sac, but not a heartbeat.. I asked Dr Tee to perform a TVS, and later i saw that tiny heartbeat in my uterus.. I was confirmed that I am 7 weeks pregnant!

Well, that did not end there......

Dr Tee then told me that MY PREGNANCY ISN'T THAT STABLE! He could see blood in my uterus.. He showed me where the blood was.. I was extremely shocked to hear that from him.. I asked him; "what do you mean that my pregnancy is not stable?" Dr Tee said that there might be chances of having a threatened miscarriage/abortion or any of the same effect based from his observations..

Well, can you imagine how I feel? Lots of things come to my mind.. If the pregnancy is not stable, will my baby develop a heartbeat by now? If there's a blood in my uterus, why wouldn't i experience any bleeding or what-so-ever? Was Dr Tee trying to scare me off?


Okok, i do respect Dr Tee as an expert.. Yes, I do.. Now i realised that my bad-dreams ain't over.. Even tough some ppl would be jumping up and down when seeing that lil heartbeat, that isn't a case for me.. For me, I need to EXTRA carefully with myself..

Truly...

I believe that Allah has planned something for me..
I believe in Allah's plan..
I believe that Allah knows best for me..
If Allah believes that this pregnancy is good for me, He will help me go through all the hurdles..
If indeed the pregnancy is bad for me, I would have to accept whatever fate that He bestowed upon me..
He knows best!
And I would have to be ready...


Now, I'm just hafta wait for my next appointment with Dr Wong.. Let's hear what he has to say..


Will keep you posted...

FET Update - Scan Day!

I saw one lil healthy sac...

Tears of joy...

AllahuAkbar! AllahuAkbar!

Ya Allah, Ya Raqib (means yang Memerhati),

please safeguard my lil angle...

When You Don't Give Up....

YOU CAN NEVER FAIL....!

This post aint about me bragging about life..
I just wanna share with you a humble journey of me throughout this year..


 ********************


EARLY THIS YEAR, i was shocked to discover that I am one of 4% pregnant women in the world who suffered a Cornual Preganancy... Although at first, I was thrilled to look at my very fist positive beta after 3 cycles of IVF... Eventually, I failed!


Not so long after loosing my babies (for want of cornual pregnancy), I received another news from MYIPO that I failed, again, for the third time of my patent drafting examination... And again, i dissapoint my boss and my firm.. I am the only hope for the firm to be a registered patent agent... (dah la selalu cuti due to IVF, fail pulak patent agent... sangat lah saya tak guna kan?) I failed!


 Those were the greatest double disappointment that I've received throughout my life...  Truly, I feel like everything aint going to the directions that I've wanted... All I did is REDHA...





LAST FEW MONTHS, I decided to go ahead with my frozen embies (FET).. I took most of the recommended supplements to increase my chances of success.. Some thought that I'm crazyy and asked me to give a break with the treatment... Well, my heart said I should juts go for it, as I'M NOT READY TO GIVE UP YET...


And not so long after that, MYIPO had given me a last chance to re-sit for the patent drafting paper.. Should i fail again this time around, I would have to repeat the whole courses again.. Well, again.. I told myself, I AINT WANNA GIVE UP.. Even if i have to repeat the whole courses, I will.. I will at my own expense, and not my firm!




AT PRESENT, i received a very high beta number for my FET.. I never would have imagined that I would reach that kind of number, considering the fact that my embies are just grade Bs.. Now, I'm just waiting for the scan day in few more days to confirm the pregnancy... At least i know that I made it this far, coz I didn't GIVE UP!


Few hours ago, i received a letter from MYIPO and the word "LULUS" appeared on the paper... Finally, I've passed!! Officially, I am now a registered Patent Agent in Malaysia.. Alhamdulillah,.. Praise to Allah.. I've passed coz I didn't GIVE UP!



 ********************


The reason I'm writing this today is not to brag about anything,.. Today, I've realised that every blood sweat and tears that we've been through will pay off eventually..  The most important thing is that, DON'T EVER EVER GIVE UP... I believe that Allah will never disregard all your efforts.. Allah knows WHEN is the PERFECT time to give back what you've deserved..


 I guess, this is a PERFECT time for me to pass the patent examination when my firm has starting to question my absence throughout this year..

I guess, this is a PERFECT time for me to receive a positive beta, after my MIL has starting to realised how I've struggled to conceive... She's now very2 supportive, unlike the last previous attempts...

Maybe,... wallahualam...



The most important thing is :

WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS TO GO TO YOUR UNDESIRED DIRECTIONS,
STAY FOCUS,
DONT EVER GIVE UP!

FET Update - Beta Day

Prior to beta day, ive been trying so hard not to POAS... But the temptations are too high (since i bought lotsa UPTs this time around)..

On 9dpfet, i did encounter a very2 faint positive line of UPT, The line appeared only half an hour after I peed.. Well i wonder whether the result is valid..

On 10dpfet, my UPT was totally negative,.. totally! On that time, i was convinced that the other day's UPT is truly invalid..

But on 11dpfet, i did my POAS at night, i started to see the second line (but very faint second line) on my UPT.. Shoud i be excited? I wonder.....

Well, during the Beta Day, all my feelings have been messed up with all the crazyy UPT results.. When my name was called, I was still in a blurring mood and of course, scared to death!


And...............



I was teribbly shocked to see the numbers written on the report.. My beta was 387.4.... It's a pretty good number, right? The best I've ever had thus far.... alhamdulillah.. praise to you, Ya Allah..


But all of the sudden, my bad memories come and hit me in the face,. I remembered the moment when i received a positive beta early this year, my DH and I were soo happy to receive the news.. But when suddenly the pregnancy had to be terminated for want of the cornual pregnancy, our hearts crashed like the world was gonna end.. We were grieving for quite some time until I can't even look at the other babies..


Well, this time around, I will stay conscious.. Even though i received a positive beta, this does not mean that my worry is over,, In fact, the MOST challenging part is just started.. My challenge is now is to SUSTAIN THE PREGNANCY! Coz, loosing a baby is waayyyy too painful than having a negative beta..


Ya Allah,
I'm thankful for this news,
But I'm begging for your mercy to make this pregnancy viable..
I'm begging for your mercy to safeguard my babies..
Ameen ya rabbal ala'meen..

  

Which Type/Level of TTCian Are You?

Hello..

If u happened to be a TTCian, by now, you should know there are several types/degrees/levels of TTCians.. There are as follows (1 is less serious, and 6 is the most serious):

 LEVEL 1
1. According to the expert/Dr, BOTH you and your DH are perfectly OKAY! The Drs said that you have no problem to get pregnant at all, and you just have to wait until the right time comes.. Yes, in other words, whenever that God permits, you will get pregnant eventually..

Solution to this?  Pray extra hard and besides that, you may go to to traditional treatments like berurut and consume some supplements to strengthen your womb..

LEVEL 2
2. YOU are perfectly FINE, but the problem comes from your HUSBAND.. This maybe due to low quality sperm, low-count sperm, or whatever relates to man's problems..

Solution to this? The husband needs to consume some medications to overcome the problems. Yes, there are lots of anti-oxidant products in the market nowadays that can boost male fertility.. 

LEVEL 3
3. Vice versa, your HUSBAND is 100% OKAY, but it seems that YOU are the one who are having problems. The problems might be due to PCOS, diabetes, endometriosis, tube blockage, fibroid etc etc etc..

Solution to this? As soon as reasonably possible, you need to consult your Dr and get the solutions from them. I believe that all of the women's common infertility problems can be cured through weight control, laparoscopy procedures, minor operations and etc.. Some like PCOS can be treated by taking meds.. This i believe requires lots of self-discipline. And the LAST resort MAYBE pregnancy via IVF or IUI..

LEVEL 4
4. According to expert, BOTH you and your husband have the infertility problems.. You might have any sort of common fertility problems as in level (3) above, and your husband is having the same problem as in item (2)..

Solution to this? You can still get pregnant via various infertility treatments as described above.. BOTH of you must undergo the treatment whether simultaneously or separately.. i.e if you have a PCOS and your husband is having a low count sperm, both needed to take different kind of supplements to overcome the problems separately..

LEVEL 5
5. BOTH you and your husband have problems, and because the problems are severe, you may ONLY resort to a pregnancy with CERTAIN/SPECIFIC treatments ONLY! i.e You can only be a mummy via IVF/ICSI due to the lost of both Fallopian tubes and of course the husband's sperms aren't that good,
THIS IS MY LEVEL!!

Solution to this? No other solutions rather than the specified/specific treatments recommended by the expert!

LEVEL 6
6. There's NO WAY you and your husband can get pregnant because of the defect by neither spouse. There's no treatment whatsoever can be used to help you get pregnant. i.e You are born without a uterus or the husband has no sperm at all..

Solution to this? As Muslims, surrogacy is "haram"... Therefore, you may only resort to adoption.



Ok, now..... Have u identified your type/level?


Whats my point anyway?


Look, if you are a TTCian, you must know what is your type of TTCian you are.. Some TTCians are different than the other TTCians.. You can't assume all are the same.. Some supplements might be useful to one, but the others are not.. Some procedures are relevant to one, but not the others....


Be careful for the words/advises given to others..

Be careful when you're suggesting certain products which maybe good for you and not the other TTCians..

Be careful when you said certain products are NOT GOOD, in fact the other TTCians have been consuming the said products and brings success..

Be careful in giving advises based on what have happened to you, this might not happen to other TTCians..you dont need to make any necessary "panic-attack" towards the other TTCians..


Ok? Baby dust to all........ :)



p/s- The list above may not be accurate and may not be as precise.. This is just a general classifications based on my readings... Good luck all.. :)

That Awkward Moment

Hello TTCians..

After that negative UPT result, i was too chicken to pee on another stick.. heheh... My DH called yesterday (of course after reading my emotional post to him), and he told me to chill.. Ok, for now, I just wanna wait till the Beta Day, of which, just around the corner..

This morning, my MIL called and she asked me whether the treatment works or not.. I feel kinda weird as she never ever bothers about me and all my IVF treatments. She didn't support me all these while as she kept on telling me to go on natural way (well, of course, she didn't know all the details about me AND her son).. She told me to call her as soon as i got the result..

Eh? Was she OK? What made her change? 

Whatever the reasons she might have, I'm soo thankful to Allah.. Allah made her see all the difficulties that Ive been through just to have very own baby.. My this year's eid was great too! Lucky me, she didn't compare myself with my preggy SIL.. In normal circumstances, she would made fun of me and humiliate me in front of others.. But this time around, she kinda "mute" about the whole baby thingy.. Alhamdulillah.. Thank you ya rabb.. 

Ok, as for me, i just had my last Proluton shot and now.. Any symptoms thus far? Hurm.. kinda yes and no.. I did feel a bit nausea (probably i was imagining I'm pregnant..heheh), very-very thirsty (maybe due to the hot weather nowadays), headache (well, i have this all the time), cramps and twinges (again, maybe due to the pessaries) and lastly diarrhea (weird right? normal pregnant ladies would have a constipation but i'm having a diarrhea.. aduii!) 

Whatever it is, i will just hafta wait for the JUDGMENT DAY a.k.a Beta Day... ;p

Please pray for me dear readers and TTCians..