Berurut?

Few of my friends suggested me to see traditional experts for berurut.. Ok, let me be frank with all of you here.. Berurut is no longer relevant for me..

You wanna know why?

1. I lost both my fallopian tubes
2. I have PCOS in the both ovaries
3. My womb is badly damaged by the cornual pregnancy
4. Therefore, I can no more conceive naturally
5. The most important thing, berurut can no longer beneficial to me..

Some of you might have problems with your ovary, or rahim jatuh, blocked fallopian tube, problems with your husband's sperm or whatever..

And you know what?

I have ALL of it...! No more FALLOPIAN TUBES, badly injured WOMB, BOTH OVARIES with cyst, and problem with my husband's SPERMS..

Now, got it?


Do you feel lucky?


YES YOU SHOULD!!

Hello Readers!

 My humble blog has been linked on Monterey Bay IVF's page..

I've been receiving emails from TTCians from all over the world since then.. Just so you know TTCians, YOU ARE NOT ALONE... 

Let's  share our stories.. Do email me at reenr83@yahoo.com


:)

Thank You Dr Ramirez!

From my previous post, I've been worrying about my chances of getting pregnant after the Cornual Pregnancy..

While I was browsing the net, I saw Dr Ramirez's blog : click here where any questions regarding infertility treatment will be answered by Dr Ramirez.

Without hesitation I wrote him this question:

*******************************************************

Hello Dr Ramirez., I am Reen from Malaysia and I'm 29 years old. My both fallopian tubes had to be removed and IVF is the only resort that can make me pregnant. I did my first IVF treatment on 2010 and the result was negative. I retrieved 25 eggs, and 8 was fertilized. 3 embies were transferred and the result was negative. Not so long after that, i decided to move on with my frozen embies, and again, the result was negative. Later, i went for a second opinion and my Doctor told me that i had a PCOS. That would be probably the reason why both my IVF cycles had failed. Without hesitation, i went through a laparoscopy ovarian drilling (LOD) with hope that i will produce better eggs in my next IVF cycles. Early this year, i had my 3rd round of IVF. 15 eggs was retrieved, but only 6 were fertilised. 3 embies were transferred and the first beta appeared positive, but on the lower side 77.4. I did my second beta after 2 days, but it wasn't doubled up as expected, it was only 87.9. My doctor predicted that i will have my menses within a week or two. In other words, I failed again. However, 3 weeks after the first beta, my menses didn't show up and with my own initiative, i took my own blood test. Guess what? my beta level was 16,471! I straight away went to see my doctor and a TVS was performed. My doctor saw a heartbeat, but he told me that my baby was not inside my uterus. He told me that i was having a CORNUAL PREGNANCY. In order to save me, the baby has to be removed. Now my question is, after the CORNUAL PREGNANCY, what are my chances of success in my next IVF cycle? Will I not be pregnant again? Please please please help me Dr Ramirez, as I am puzzled and I really dont know what to do. 

 And yesterday, I was super excited when receiving his reply. And here are his reply:

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Hello Ms. Zuhdi,

 

Your question is fairly easy to answer, let me provide that courtesy.

 

A Cornual pregnancy is a form of “ectopic” pregnancy, meaning that it is outside of the uterine cavity.  It is a life-threatening type of pregnancy because the cornua has large blood vessels that supply it.  If it should rupture, you can hemorrhage to death.  Therefore, it should be taken care of swiftly.

 

This pregnancy shows that you can get pregnant via IVF.  It is unknown why the embryo migrated to the cornua, but despite this, your chances of a successful IVF in the future are good.  You need to keep trying.

 

Good Luck,

 

 

Edward J. Ramirez, M.D., FACOG

Executive Medical Director

The Fertility and Gynecology Center

Monterey Bay IVF Program

www.montereybayivf.com

Ok, I'm now soo relieved!!! Although, A cornual pregnancy is an extremely rare case, but Dr Ramirez told me that I do have chances to get pregnant again.

Pheww.. what a relieve!!

And She's Pregnant

Yes, my recently got married sis in law has pregnant.. She is now a 3 months pregnant.. Well, i am happy for her. For at least, my mil's dream to be a granny has come true..

To be honest, i am a bit envy.. Esp when my mil has paid all her attention towards her. But, she deserved it..

As for and hubby, we hope that Allah hasnt closed our door to become parents. I do want to be a mummy.. But, i just dont ready for another round of treatment..

Happy mother's day to all mummys in the world.. Praying that soon, i will be a mummy too.. Sobs..

Post Baby Loss Trauma

Well, after the surgery to remove the baby, I couldn't stop crying.. Everything that I do, tears will accompany me. I decided to go back to work, just to keep myself busy.

Yes, working does help. With all the stress, fussy clients and boss, I managed to move on with my life. I even lost tremendous amount of weight. I dont really have appetite to eat.

As I looked at all the hospital bills, ever since i started with the infertility treatment, i came to a knowledge that, till date, I've spent almost RM200k in 2 years.. That includes all the supplements that I took, berurut here and there, procedures, medicines, etc etc..

Wow, my husband and I are officially BROKE! There's no more money in our savings and instantly, we've decided to postpone our FET till next year.

But, Allah has his mysterious way in dealing with our lives..

And few days ago, my husband was offered a job in London, and again, they are doubling his current salary. And again  i wonder, is this the "hikmah" that i was looking for?

We felt the suffering when we had to deal with the infertility treatments, we lost our savings.. but Allah is replacing all the loss with something else..

I'm starting to believe that Allah knows everything best, rather we knew everything about ourselves. The hikmah from all that i gathered from the past few days are as follows:

1. Should I am pregnant now, my husband wouldn't be able to be there with me during delivery, as he will be in London on that time;
2. Should I am pregnant now, we would not be celebrating our 3rd anniversary in overseas.


Well, truly I am thankful to Allah.. Although, deep in heart, im still longing to have my own baby.. but for now, let me just concentrate with my career, ok? I think, my boss need me more than i need to have my own baby.. hehehe!

I Am A Grieving Mummy

Hello ppl..

You guys might be thinking that I'm still carrying my angels.. Nope, not at the moment!

I took quite some time for me to regain my strength to write this blog, every time I tried, i broke myself into tears.. But today, i feel responsible to update you what's went on to me from the last couple of months..

Well, it was about my 9th weeks pregnant, i was scheduled to meet Dr Wong to check whether there is a heartbeat or not.. YES, there was! I was thrilled!! But, Dr Wong looked concern and it took him a while to tell me that the baby was not inside my uterus... For a moment, i feel like my world's crashed.. :( Dr Wong told me that it MIGHT be another ectopic and asked me to immediately undergo a laparoscopy to see what was going on there. In other words, the pregnancy will have to be terminated!

I bravely said to Dr Wong to seek for a second opinion. And yes, my husband and I straight away went to the nearby hospital; SJMC or Sime Darby Medical Centre. The Dr there opined the same. As i was browsing the internet, i read someone survived an ectopic which was treated by Dr Ahmad in Putrajaya Hospital. I then, asked my husband drove me to Putrajaya Hospital, with hope to see Dr Ahmad.

On the way to Putrajaya, i started to feel pain in my lower abdomen. The pain was somewhat familiar, and yes, it was the pain i felt during my 1st ectopic. The difference was that, i wasn't had the heavy bleeding. Not a drop of blood coming from my vagina! 

As soon as i reach Putrajay Hospital, i was taken to the emergency room, and was rushed to see Dr. Dengan kuasa Allah yang Maha Esa, I met Dr Ahmad. Dr Ahmad then examined me, and he told me that it was not an ectopic pregnancy, my baby was in my uterus, but was on the left side of my uterus. The pregnancy was called as CORNUAL PREGNANCY.. Although it wasn't an ectopic, but cornual pregancy is as dangerous as an ectopic if not removed immediately. The reason why there's no bleeding from my vagina is because i was having an internal bleeding. That moment, Dr Ahmad told me that my whole uterus as well the outer part of my uterus has already full with blood.

Half and hour later, i found myself in the OT, and few hours later, I wasn't a MUMMY anymore. In other words, i lost my baby at 9th weeks of my pregnancy.. sad! :(

Later after that, i was told by Dr Ahmad that i was actually carrying TWINS, One of the twins didn't make it due to the position of the babies.

Now, i wonder, what is a CORNUAL PREGNANCY? Why does this happen to me? I've googled about it and i found out that only 2% women in the WORLD who had this pregnancy. This is extremely rare case for pregnancy. My question is that, will I or will I not get pregnant again? Do u know that Dr had cut the uterus to remove the baby? Will my uterus heal by now?


Ya Allah,
mengapa berat sangat ujian kau beri pada aku?


I'm still grieving and crying,. I might look happy and strong, but actually, I'm good in pretending..